Balding With Grace and Dignity

The Longhair In The Mirror 

Over the past few months, there's been a slow burn of looking at myself in the mirror and realizing the man I'm seeing is no longer the man I once was. That’s because I was balding. 

After 14 years of wearing my long hair, I reached a point where long hair was no longer just a style choice. It had become something I was holding on to, something I felt I needed in order to be seen and to stand out.

My long hair today wasn’t the long hair I used to have. I couldn’t feel fully comfortable being seen without a hat. Over the past six years, my hairline had been receding slowly, and long hair had shifted from a form of expression into something I was managing and concealing.

That realization eventually led me to a decision I never thought I’d make: I cut my hair short.

Long Hair Lives in the Heart

Any man who has had long hair for any significant period of time likely feels that your hair is a part of you. It feels like part of your identity. Long hair isn't just something you wear, it's something you carry.

But something I heard The Longhairs say in content over the years is that "long hair lives in the heart," and I couldn't agree more. That's because long hair is an idea just as much as a physical characteristic. It's choosing to stand out from societal norms and express yourself in a unique way.

That character trait and passion for creativity is something that can never be taken from you, even if your hair follicles decide that they've had enough.

As I say goodbye to my long hair externally, I wanted to reflect on the things I've learned over 14 years of having long hair. I also want to remind all men dealing with hair loss and balding that long hair lives in the heart. And even after you're able to wear long hair, you will always embody the lessons you learned from your long hair season.

Growing Long Hair When It Wasn’t Cool

I started growing my hair out when I was around ten years old. And back in 2010, having long hair as a man was far more taboo than it is today. Heck, that was still four years before The Longhairs was even founded. There were no options for men with long hair to feel like they belonged. You had to face the shame and embarrassment of walking down the women's hair care aisle and getting feminine-looking hair ties.

I first grew my hair long because I was in a band with my brother, and someone told both of us we should grow long hair to look like rock stars. My brother lasted a few months and then decided to cut his hair. 

I, on the other hand, loved it. I loved how I stood out from the crowd. I felt creative and unique. I felt seen. And even though I never fully felt like I belonged in any friend group, having long hair was a way to distinguish myself.

It wasn't always easy. I would get picked on, questioned, and singled out. Even adults would question my parents sometimes, asking, "Why do you let your son have long hair like that?" But I chose self-expression despite the social friction.

This taught me at a young age to have grit and resilience, to stand up for what I believed in, and to show up as myself, not caring about judgment or pressure from others (which would serve me well as I started balding).

Watching the World Around Me Change

As I grew older, I started to watch the world around me change. I noticed it became more acceptable and cool for men to have long hair. I remember the hipster era around 2014 when the man bun, or the high ball, as we call it here at The Longhairs, really started to gain traction.

Coincidentally, 2014 is when The Longhairs was founded. That's when two men had a vision to create a place for all men with long hair to belong and feel seen. A place for us to have our own products to care for our hair. A place for us to be educated. A place for us to boost each other's confidence and support each other in our hair journey.

I remember discovering The Longhairs in 2017, and I was stoked to place my first order of Hair Ties For Guys™. This is when I really started to grow into my identity as a fellow longhair.

I was so excited about what The Longhairs were doing that I asked if they had considered going on Shark Tank. Lo and behold, in January of 2018, I got to watch as their episode of Shark Tank aired and they got an investment from Mark Cuban.

Most recently in 2023, I had the honor of joining The Longhairs live in their studio in San Diego to record a podcast and share my journey with long hair.

All this to say, The Longhairs, and society in general, have brought a positive view on men with long hair in recent years.

What Long Hair Teaches You as a Man

Despite it becoming more culturally accepted, there are still many things that long hair teaches you as a man:

• You learn how to be visibly different without apology
• You become comfortable as the different or quirky guy in the room
• You develop resilience to attention, comments, and assumptions
• You learn to have patience and persistence in caring for something that matters to you
• You learn to embrace discomfort—instead of avoiding it

That last point is especially true on your journey to long hair, because every man growing it out has to overcome awkward stage hair.

I truly believe that long hair develops your character as a man. It gives you a new level of confidence and teaches you to not care what others think about you, to show up as yourself, and express yourself as you are.

When Balding Becomes Inevitable 

However, at some point in a man's hair journey, balding is almost inevitable. For some, it comes sooner than others. For me, I started balding when I was 18, and it slowly got worse and worse. Now at the age of 24, it’s reached a point where long hair is no longer viable. It got to where I didn't want to be seen without a hat on. Maintaining my long hair felt more like resistance than expression.

I started to feel trapped in my long hair, especially as a YouTuber and public figure. Could my brand survive if I didn't have my long hair? It's always been a unique trait that people recognize me by. There can be an internal conflict of letting go of something that shapes your visual identity.

Why I Didn’t Choose Treatment

At this point, you may be asking, "Well, Christian, did you do anything to try and treat the hair loss?" And yes, of course I explored my options. I tried various shampoos, oils, supplements, I considered taking medication, and I also considered a transplant.

But the reality is none of these options for balding are guaranteed to work. I didn't have any success with the less invasive options, and the more invasive options like transplants are expensive and often require you to take drugs for the rest of your life that can impact hormones—something I wasn't particularly interested in.

There's nothing wrong with choosing treatment for balding if that feels right to you. But for me, I decided that I wanted to move forward rather than manage or conceal the inevitable. Treating acceptance as an active choice, not a passive one.

Balding Is Just the Inverse of Long Hair

This is when I had my true “aha” moment and discovered something powerful: balding is just the inverse of long hair. Long-haired men and bald men both stand out—just in opposite ways.

Balding is statistically more common than men with long hair, but it's still socially distinctive. Any attention you'll get while bald mirrors what you already experienced with long hair. 

You'll be the quirky guy in the room. People might make assumptions about your personality and character. They might assume that you're more intense or more masculine, while with long hair they may assume that you're more feminine and soft. But these are stereotypes that may not be true in either case.

The lessons you learn in your period of having long hair carry right into baldness, and I truly believe that while it seems counterintuitive, it is easier to accept balding after a season of long hair than if you never had long hair at all.

The Grieving Process No One Talks About

Nevertheless, letting go of long hair can feel like closing a chapter of life. There is a grieving process to it. Grief doesn't mean regret. You can honor what was without clinging to it, but it's still a moment that you'll have to sit with and process as you move into the next era of your visual identity.

And I have to say, while I never chose to donate my hair in my long hair journey, I have all the more respect for every man who has graciously donated his hair like many participants in The Great Cut.

What Stays After the Hair Is Gone

After having long hair for a season, you will forever retain the character traits that you built, even after balding.

The confidence shaped by years of visibility doesn't vanish. Self-expression that you learned doesn't need to be re-learned. A season of long hair leaves behind courage, patience, and clarity in your identity.

You also learn to have compassion and empathy for others who choose to express themselves in a unique and creative way. This is why I believe that I’ll always be a longhair at heart. 

Until next time,

El Valiente

Christian “El Valiente” Taylor

Founder and principal of Craylor Media, El Valiente is a technology journalist, entrepreneur, content creator, YouTube star and drummer on the side.

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